Congratulations go to Elizabeth Blackburn and her fellow scientists, now we can grow older without fear.

http://elizabethblackburnnobelprize.blogspot.com

Blabbermouth.net is at it again:

Los Angeles metallers FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH have released the following statement:

"We have not been able to locate Zoltan [Bathory, guitar] from FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH since Friday night’s [September 18] show in Las Vegas. He has not responded to calls, text messages, or emails, and he was last seen around 2:00 a.m. Friday night at Wasted Space in the Hard Rock Casino, taking tequila shots at the bar with a group of guys from a bachelor party who came to the show.

"If anybody has any information as to the whereabouts of Zoltan, please email ffdp@prospectpk.com immediately. This is not like him and the band needs to prepare for the upcoming tour. We have already notified the appropriate authorities, but any help Vegas fans might be able to provide is very much appreciated."

It should be noted that someone logged in to Zoltan’s personal MySpace profile earlier today (Sunday, September 20), which makes the entire story a little suspect.

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH is scheduled to begin "The Shock And Roar Tour" on Tuesday (September 22) in San Francisco, finishing up sometime in early November. Joining them on the bill will be SHADOWS FALL, OTEP and 2 CENTS.

What I’m thinking is: "Hmm, why would they release such a piece of information?"

Fact is, you don’t make a press release if a member is "missing" for two days. Maybe he’s got such a hangover that he’s not bothering to answer calls, or he’s hit on a hot chick and is busy making out. He’s a "metal" musician for god’s sake, shouldn’t he be able to take care of himself? In any case, if it really is that serious it should be enough to let the authorities do their job, these types of news only make my hype-o-meter go kaboom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bQM5G5y7ik

Ridiculously hilarious.